unbalanced

I have to admit I’m getting a little tired of Boice’s term “exemplary,” as in “exemplary new teachers.” While the art teacher praises the kid who made the pretty vase, I’m the kid who made the ashtray with a hole in it.

It’s evident, therefore, that I need to quash my negative thinking, and I think Boice would agree. I like Boice’s suggestion to “moderate” negative thinking, since the idea of stopping it entirely seems too unmanageable. (Besides, nihil nimus, right?) Boice mentions the “perverse pleasure” we get from indulging in negative thinking. I wonder, why do we enjoy torturing ourselves with such harmful thoughts? There seems to be some satisfaction in saying to oneself, “I can’t write a good paper/I’m not a good teacher/I don’t look good in these jeans.” Is it the satisfaction of being right, even if it’s not great if we’re right? I think it’s true that a person can make herself a poor teacher, for instance, by telling herself she is one. And I think it’s easier to write a bad paper than a good one, so it’s not too difficult to be right about that negative proposition, too. To finish off my examples, I think most people would agree that confidence is sexy, but timidity is easy.

So the next question is, how can someone gain pleasure from positive thinking, and thus be encouraged to continue it? Maybe the key is to “think positive” about small things at first, in order to be able to observe a demonstrable positive change. Things such as…? Or perhaps it’s the good feeling after accomplishing a small improvement in attitude that one should imagine, in order to make the change in the first place. Part of the reason I go running is that I know I feel good afterwards.